Wednesday, March 26, 2014

It's been a while since I've done a blog like this but time to start again. It's been 4 years and my life as a mother has been a roller coaster. It's been good and bad. I vas now two little children ages 3 and 1 years old. They are my and my husbands world and he has been there for me through the hard part.

You never expect when your find our that your pregnant that you will lose a baby before they are even here.a few weeks into my second pregnancy I had a miscarriage the worst thing in my life with an almost 1 year old. I cried for days and the sight of my daughter would just bring me to tears. Nothing sooth the ache I feel not even now. It hurts to know my children will child never know there baby brother or sister. But even in the middle of a lost like that there was some good. I found out I was still pregnant and it wasn't a new pregnancy. The doctor had come to the conclusion I must has been carrying to different eggs, and when asked if I felt not pregnant I kept saying no. I always felt something wasn't right. I went back a month later after taking another home pregnancy year and found out about my son. Through him he helped me move on in some ways. Part me likes to think he has a little someone with him or he knows his brother or sister before I will ever know him or her. When I look at him at times I want to cry and some times I really do cry from the fact I know he will never know this great person or they would be the same age.

I'm still hurt as you can see bit it doesn't hurt as much as it use too.